Your closet called...

How much easier would life be if we all walked around with signs around our necks saying exactly what we wanted others to know about us? Mine would typically say “if you like Taylor Swift and glitter let’s talk” but sometimes I would want it to say “I can transform your confidence”, or “please don’t talk to me before 8am”.

I think this would come in handy particularly at networking events. Like how scary is it to approach a group of strangers and just insert yourself into their conversation knowing nothing about each other? What if they don’t like you? What if you get sucked into a 20 minute conversation about crypto? (my nightmare).

My very best networking tip is to find someone who you genuinely like their outfit, and compliment them on it to break the ice. Do not do this if you don’t actually like their outfit just because you’re trying to be nice. Does that seem harsh? Maybe, but truly every time I have given someone a non-genuine compliment on what they were wearing, we’ve both been left standing there trying to figure out a polite way to exit the conversation.

Last year I went to a networking event with pop-ups from a handful of fabulous entrepreneurs. I almost skipped it because I was very shy and networking events full of people I didn’t know were terrifying, but I was working through that fear very intentionally so I made myself go. 

I walked in and the room was buzzing with people who all seemed to already know each other. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked briskly through the event space, scanning the room for absolutely anyone I recognized who could save me and make me feel less alone. That effort was unsuccessful, so I did what I said I’d do: stand up straight, hold my head high, and go introduce myself to someone while my heart secretly beats out of my chest.

As I walked around, I locked in on one of the vendors sitting at her table. I had no idea what her business was, but this woman’s entire look and vibe spoke right to me. I walked straight up to her table and sat down. 

It turns out she was a brand designer and was selling mini website audits on the spot. Very interesting, but problematic for me because I didn’t have a website. At that point I was already sitting and had done the hardest part of networking which was approaching a stranger, so I stuck with it.

That was my first conversation with one of my now best friends, favorite humans, and the woman who I’ve hired, paid, and referred out multiple times. Even that day I paid her $35 to chit chat about our businesses for 30 minutes because I could tell in seconds that she was someone I needed to know. Would a sign around her neck saying “I’m the coolest babe you’ll ever meet” have changed my mind about approaching her? We’ll never know, but she didn’t need it. Her look introduced her before she spoke.

But here’s the thing…we all have the opportunity to wear a sign saying EXACTLY what we want others to know every single day…and those signs are all hanging up in your closet. But it only works when your image is aligned with who you really are.

When you present in a way that doesn’t reflect your true self, you feel like you’re performing. When you’re not feeling empowered by your image, it dims your authority and magnetism. You’re at your best when you feel confident, and confidence comes from an alignment between who you really are and how you are perceived. 

Having an elevated and distinct style is not about looking perfect all the time, it’s about being fully yourself and seen for your genius. As that same woman always says “your vibe attracts your tribe”.